But it's your life.

calikalie:

Dwight: What is that? What are you supposed to be? Jim: I’m a three hole punch version of Jim. ‘Cause you can have me either way. Plain White Jim or Three Hole Punch. Phyllis: That’s great! Jim: Oh, yeah! Dwight: Yeah, well, look…What about me? Phyllis: What are you? A monk? Dwight: I am a Sith Lord. Oh, big deal. Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. This cost me 129 dollars. Phyllis: Ass.
The Office, 2x05 Halloween

Dwight: What is that? What are you supposed to be?
Jim: I’m a three hole punch version of Jim. ‘Cause you can have me either way. Plain White Jim or Three Hole Punch.
Phyllis: That’s great!
Jim: Oh, yeah!
Dwight: Yeah, well, look…What about me?
Phyllis: What are you? A monk?
Dwight: I am a Sith Lord. Oh, big deal. Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. This cost me 129 dollars.
Phyllis: Ass.

The Office, 2x05 Halloween

Also, I feel like pulling a Liz Lemon.

“Here is all my weird secret stuff…”

I am indecisive and I hate it.

“ Would I change things, if I could? Yeah. I’d take away the designated hitter rule, to begin with. Then I’d take away the replays—all the replays. I would insist that all weeknight playoff games start at 6 p.m., Eastern, so that the kids could watch, and I’d decree that weekend tilts be played as they used to be played, in the afternoons: temperatures are warmer, and more often than not, God’s good sunshine comes streaming down.

— Stephen King

A San Francisco Panorama exclusive: Stephen King covers the World Series. One of the most popular authors in American history takes on America’s pastime in the Panorama’s collectible special section devoted to the World Series. King, a die-hard Boston Red Sox fan and a long-time student of the game, dissects the Series—its pivotal events, and its important players—in prose that’s both hilarious and poignant.

Hi, uh. Have I mentioned that I love, love, love McSweeney’s?

“ I don’t know, but it’s so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, describing my life to a T.

The more you know you know you don't know shit.

thoughtsonasunday / sugarspun

I seem to have lost my train of thought.

“ Baseball is America’s game. Since around the middle of the nineteenth century we’ve been playing it and watching it. Kids, poets, presidents, thieves, senators, generals, shop clerks, steelworkers, movie stars, teamsters, farmers, writers, all have been drawn to the game and have been moved by it. Baseball is our language, our history, our blood. Without it, the world would be far different for many of us.

— James T. Farrell (via cornerinfielder / allmyloving / mightyflynn / jheath)